Well, I made it through Day 6. *Barely*. In fact, this evening I begged one of my reps for a cig. Lucky for me, she refused & 2 of my other reps jumped into crisis mode & offered me gum & chocolate instead (I said yes to the gum and blew bubbles). All 3 talked me down from my freak-out.
Then, I almost begged again, but I thought about it and said "Ya know what...you don't want to do that. You will hate yourself for ruining all the hard work you've done to make it this far." , so I didn't ask and I was proud of myself for making it by myself that time.
I can't wait until 2 weeks or so has passed. It took at least that long last time until I was ok - it may have even been a month. Anyway, I thank Sharon, Stacy M. & Debra for not letting me smoke tonight. They saved me from myself and a HUGE mistake.
My aunt's team *jumped* up in the polls that were released last night. She went from #6 to #3!! She is still undefeated and plays Valparaiso tonight, a team she's beat every single time they've played against each other. Tennessee got knocked down to #4 for losing to a non top-10 team (Texas) and UConn is still at #9 since they've only played 2 games so far this season, the last one being 11/21. They play some no-name scrub team tomorrow, so it's a guaranteed win, but I'm guessing they'll stay around 9 until they beat someone good.
Go ND, Go ND :)
I made it through DAY 5!! Well, I have 1.5 hrs left. I'm still at work (we were super busy today) and it takes me an hour to get home, so I'm sure I'll make it the next 1.5 hours. YAY me!!!!
It was *so* hard not smoking today. I almost didn't make it, but I'm glad I did. Hopefully it's all down hill from here. :)
1 hour & 20 minutes (was 1 hour & 20 minutes, now 1 hour thanks to BLOGGER CRAPPING OUT ON ME FOR 20 DANG MINUTES!!! PIECE OF FREE CRAP!) to go until I've made it through Day 4!!! I know I'll make it that long because I'm going to watch Desperate Housewives and then go to sleep.
Tomorrow will be the real test. Can I not smoke while at work? Do I really want to ruin my past 4 days of drama & suffering? Yes and No. I will not smoke tomorrow. I will do whatever necessary to make that my reality so tomorrow night I can post that I made it through Day 5. Thank you for suffering through these boring posts. If I make it a week, I'll be good, so you'll have a few more days to get through.
Day 3 and I MADE It! :) I heard that Day 3 is the hardest, although last time I made it through Day 4 when I ruined it, so I'm not out of the woods yet.
I spent a lot of time running around today. We went to Subway for lunch. I thought the Classic Italian BMT couldn't get any better, but have it toasted & oh my! It's heavenly. :)
Then we went to Lane Bryant & I got 2 pairs of jeans. We went to Kohl's and got Tom 2 pairs of jeans (the jeans we owned were at least 2 years old - mine both had holes in them & I was down to wearing Wal-Mart Jeans that didn't look as good).
Then we went to Kendra & Landon's for dinner. Kendra made lasagna and it was DELICIOUS (as all her cooking is). Now here we are - I'm at home, still not smoking. :)
I didn't play my game all day. Well, except for the 10 minutes I just put in & that was because I was looking for a website with a downloadable mailbox for someone in the newsgroup who lost his & I thought the site was on a picture in the game. Turns out it wasn't. Anyway - Day 3 is done and I'm proud of myself for resisting the many urges I had today. Some of Tom's smoke got in my face tonight and it actually turned my stomach.
Day 2 and I still haven't smoked. I thought about it a million times and I think I ate my weight in food today
but at least I didn't smoke. I'm not too worried about the eating thing since I'm starting Atkins 1/1/05. I have to get this no smoking thing down first. Monday will be the true challenge.....can I make it an entire day at work without smoking? I'm betting I can.
My
aunt's team beat USC tonight (barely, but a win's a win)! They are now 6-0 with next game against
Valpy on Tuesday Night at 7:05CT.
I also have to say that Tom is being so good to me. Not only is he putting up with my dementia (I swear even I don't know what I'm rambling on about sometimes), mood swings, whining, satanic bitching, etc.... but he just went & fetched me a soda so I wouldn't make a hot ham & cheese bagel while I was in the kitchen. I *lurv* this man!
Happy Thanksgiving to everyone! I appreciate all the kindness in my Doodleboard. :)
Which Desperate Housewife am I? Definitely Susan. Insecure, afraid to go after what I want, unless pushed... definitely Susan.
I'm well into my first day of not smoking. It was horrible. It's almost all I wanted to do today, but thanks to my Hubby I didn't break down. I couldn't even convince him to buy me a pack! Thanks, Pooch.
I love you guys & hope you have a great Holiday weekend!
Dolphins are cool!
WELLINGTON, New Zealand -- A New Zealand lifeguard said it was a group of dolphins that did the life-saving when he and some other swimmers were threatened by a shark.
Rob Howes said he was swimming with his 15-year-old daughter and two friends when a group of dolphins started circling the swimmers and herding them into a tight group.
He didn't know why they were doing it -- until he spotted a great white shark cruising toward them.
Howes told a newspaper, the Northern Advocate, that the dolphins 'pushed all four of us together by doing tight circles around us.'
When he tried to drift away from the group, two of the bigger dolphins herded him back.
He said seven dolphins stayed with them for 40 minutes, swimming in circles and slapping the water with their tails.
My Aunt's Team won the Pre-season WNIT! They beat 2 top 10 ranked teams and thus jumped up to #6 in the National Standings! They won tonight against Colorado State, so that can only help matters (at least a little bit). I believe this is their best start since 2001 when they went to (and won) the Final Four.
Go Notre Dame!!
First Sims 2 Expansion Pack was announced by EA Games today. I
wasn't that interested at first, but the more I think about it, it may
be pretty cool. Hopefully we'll (well, others, I just download) be able
to create our own objects by then. The EP is due to be released in
March 2005. Read the press release
HERE.
P.S. - the 7 days to get our new DVR? We got it on Friday. 3 days after we
called. Had a little mishap with the upstairs remote turning on the menu on
the downstairs TV. After trekking to Radio Shack and purchasing 2 -6 DB attenuators
(supposedly will stop that from happening according to the dish manual), found out it
still didn't work. Removing the remote antenna from the back of the receiver *did*
fix it (yes, I figured it out all by myself). Now I have to return these 2 things. Good thing
we didn't buy a new $30 universal remote like RS tried to talk us into. :)
Tell me, don't these 3 paragraphs say the same thing but in a different way?
Secretary of State Colin Powell is defending his son, Michael Powell, after shock jock Howard Stern told the Federal Communications chairman that he got his job because of nepotism.
Powell the elder has come to his son's defense after Stern said the Federal Communications Commission chairman got the job because of his famous father.
Michael Powell was surprised by a caller into a San Francisco radio show he was appearing on Tuesday who said, "Your father got you your job."
They are all included in an article
here.
It's like the journalist was trying to figure out which way it sounded better & never fixed it up.
First there was the drama about the Monday Night Football/Desperate housewives intro because Nicolette Sheridan was *gasp* nekkid under a towel. (I watched it on the internet & while not offended, I thought it was stupid.) Now Indianapolis Colts coach, Tony Dungy, says the skit played off stereotypes of black athletes and was racially offensive.
"I thought it hit at a lot of stereotypes toward athletes -- black athletes in particular. I thought it was very insensitive on the heels of the Kobe Bryant situation....", he said. "That a guy was more concerned with that than the game, that's a terrible message to send. I'm particularly sensitive to it. It could have been any player and I would have been outraged, but being an African-American, it particularly hurt me."
What? I mean, I've never been black, so if someone could explain to me how this intro was soooo hurtful to African-Americans, I'd be glad to be enlightened. If it had been a white athlete and a black actress, you wouldn't hear outcries of how much it hurt white Americans. Why is it so hurtful? A man was taken in by a sexy, albeit plastic, woman. Where does race play into that? And to bring up the "Kobe Bryant situation"? Desperate Housewives is camp. Edie is a ho. Kobe Bryant and his I-want-your-money-consensual-at-the-time chick have nothing to do with this.
Good grief.
Ah lord, how can I talk about this & be non-offensive & SFW at the same time? I can't, so if you're at work, close this now. If you're offended, stop reading.
There was an article on one of the local news sites which stated that anti-pr0n (yes, I spelled it wrong, trying to throw off the inevitable google searches by spelling the right way) advocates told Congress today that Internet pr0n is corrupting children and hooking adults into an addiction that threatens their jobs & familes. A co-director of a sexual trauma program at the University of Pennsylvania said pr0n's effect on the brain mirrors addiction to heroin or crack. She recommends billboards and bus ads warning people to avoid pr0n, strip clubs & prostitutes. According to these advocates, studies show that prolonged use of pr0n leads to "sexual callousness, the erosion of family values & diminished sexual satisfaction."
One woman, Judith Reisman, a vocal critic of the Kinsey Institute and the field of sexology, suggested Congress require police officers to gather evidence of pr0n at crime scenes to further research.
********************
Seriously? There's obviously a biased agenda here. I'm not a pr0n freak at all, but the implication is that anyone who views pr0n will become addicted and then go on to commit crimes. At least, that's how I understand it. People really need to lighten up. If someone gets addicted to pr0n they must have an addictive personality to begin with, I would think.
I'm update crazy today! Read
this article. It has me so pissed off for some reason. This little piece of shit doesn't deserve to live even if this woman doesn't die. I can't believe that people like this exist.
Have I mentioned Lately that I *love* Dish network? I was digging around on their webpage tonight and found that I could get *another* DVR for free (essentially). This would solve my LAX vs. Lost problem & a host of others when Tom is recording his 1 millionth CSI of the week.
So, I called them & for $24.95 shipping & a $5.00/mo leasing fee I can replace my old upstairs receiver (by old I mean at *least* 4-5 years old, my numbers have worn off the remote!) and get a DVR. If I send the old receiver back, they'll credit my account $25 for shipping, so in essence, I'm only paying $5/mo extra. It's well worth it to stop the fights over whether The People's Court & Judge Mathis are really
required daily watching and it will be nice for those times when I'm really into a movie or something upstairs but fall asleep before the end is over.
Random Thoughts from a Happy Monday:
~I got my official-fan-club-members-only Friends of Live T-shirt today! It is *so* cool! I'm going to wear it to work tomorrow, even though I don't think it's supposed to be that warm out.
~Talked to my mom tonight. She was reading the page for the first time in a long time - even got caught up in the Princess Diaries. I apologized for the mean things I said about her and told her they were to illustrate the point that I've always been a curser and that I acted so stupid when I was younger. :) (Something that hasn't changed, I can assure you.)
~One man that has NO idea what class is - Suge Knight. The 2nd Annual Vibe Awards had a melee break out tonight. During the course of the ceremony, Suge got onstage and yelled "F the G-Unit" then insulted the rest of the audience (although the article says "allegedly" - people were there, so did he or did he not?). People were stabbed, audience members were maced...
How ridiculous. You people are entertainers. You're going to let a disrespectful bastard ruin an awards show and cause people to get HURT? That thug should have stayed in jail. He's a sorry waste of human life.
ATTN: ALL SUGE KNIGHT HIT MEN....I don't care who you are or what you think, no one deserves to be stabbed because they went to an awards show to watch people get awards. Stabbing me will not solve the problem, so kindly refrain from hurting me. Thank you. :)
~Hilary Duff & her sister are going to cover "Material Girl" by Madonna for an upcoming movie called "Material Girls" about sibling heiresses who lose their father's fortune in the wake of a scandal and are forced to fend for themselves. Sad that songs from my childhood are now being re-made. I guess if the gray hairs didn't prove it, I'm getting old.
~I don't know if I'm looking forward to user-created Sims 2 objects anymore. I already have 65 MB worth of downloads & that's only from hair & clothes! My hard drive is 160 GB, so I have plenty of room, but DANG! :)
Happy Monday!
I've been thinking a lot about heart attacks lately. I really, really need to quit smoking. I failed miserably while my mom was here. As a matter of fact I smoked MORE than usual. I was reading about Cheney's "scare" and read that he had 4 heart attacks - his first one at 37. That's only 5 years older than I am. Then ODB (Ol' Dirty Bastard) died over the weekend. He was 35 and complained of chest pains before he died. That's only THREE years older than I am. I don't know when my dad had his first attack, but I believe it was in his 30s.
I don't want to die in my 30s. I don't want to have a heart attack in my 30s (well, I don't want to have one ever, actually). I am determined to believe it is
not my destiny to die of a heart attack. And if it is, I wonder if I can trick destiny by getting rid of these cancer sticks. Damn it, I'm gonna try. Maybe I can kick the smokes now & then Atkins is only 1 1/2 months away and with that = exercise.
Wish me luck. :)
Don't ask me why, but I was on the Times of India webpage today. Is it any wonder that there was an EarthLink ad on that page? Sign up now for as little as $10.97/mo. Perhaps w/my IP address the page knew I was in the US, but I found it poetic that the ad was on this of all pages.
My mom is back safe & sound in Pennsylvania. We had a great time doing a bunch of nothing! No tourist stuff (she's seen most of it on previous trips). Just relaxing & eating out. :)
We did see The Incredibles while she was here & it was an excellent movie! You should all see it. Now I have to get back into the routine of work. I've missed it, but it's nice playing Sims 2 & still collecting a full paycheck. :)
My dog,
Molly, hasn't seen my mom for 2 years. Last time mom was here was December 2002. I was *quite* shocked by my dog's reaction when my mom & I walked in the door today.
Molly came downstairs, saw my mom & freaked out with delight! She started running all around like a crazy dog and jumped up on the sofa. She started *CRYING* with joy that my mom was here. Jumped up & licked her on the face!!! Those 2 things are things my dog
never does. I go away for a week and I get a semi-bouncy-glad-you're-home-sniff-fest for 60 seconds.
You would think this dog saw the face of God. She delighted in my mom for a full 10 minutes. It just amazes me.
Today is my friend Patty's Birthday! I love ya, girl!
Today is one of those days...
Words can't quite begin to express
all my thankfulness for you.
But I'd really love to let you know
how happy I am to be celebrating the birthday
of someone who is so important to me.
You are someone whose worth to this world
is celebrated on this special day,
but who is appreciated
every single day of the year.
Whether you know it or not,
you make a tremendous difference
in the lives of other people --
just by the light that your life shines
on those around you
and by the way your smiles give the gift
of warmth to those who know you.
I am one of those lucky people,
and I want you to know
what a joy it is to have you here.
Of course I wasn't talented enough to write this myself, but I found it online & it fits Patty perfectly!
In an article on mailbox thefts around the area, the Postal Inspector threw out a statistic I'd never heard: 95 to 99 percent of all mail theft is committed by methamphetamine users.
Quite interesting.
My mom is flying into town for the week tomorrow, so updates will be few & far between. Today is devoted to cleaning. :)
See you next Saturday!
Ok, I'm on a spirit kick again the last few days (you know what I was like when I got my Sylvia Browne books, so bear with me!). I don't understand why it's so hard for people to believe that there is another side & that the spirits, or souls, on that side can communicate with us. We believe in God and believe that He communicates with us, or shows us signs, so why not our deceased loved ones? I won't go totally out to left field about that subject (although I have been reading up on it), lest you never come back & cut off all communication with me ;) but, I'm going to share with you some of the things that have happened to me. Separately, I could have made them up, but together, I think there's something more powerful at work:
~ July 17, 2001. Tom & I woke up for work and we were getting ready. All of the sudden I looked at him & said "I don't want my dad to die." He asked me where that came from since we weren't even talking about my dad or family. I had no idea. A few hours later at work, he got a call from my mom (she tried to reach me, but couldn't) that my dad was in a coma and it didn't look good. We flew to PA that day and he died 2 days later.
~ July 18/19, 2001. I was sleeping and my dad came to me in a dream and told me to take care of my mom and make sure she takes her insulin (she's diabetic). He died the next morning.
I don't remember the dates of the following:
~ I had a dream that I was in a dark restaurant that was closed. I looked towards a small booth in the back - the only one with the light above it on. My dad was there. We "talked" although I don't remember about what. I put talked in quotes because I don't remember our voices or our mouths moving, but we were communicating. I felt peaceful when I woke up.
~ I had another dream once that I was in my mom's bedroom and she was getting dressed for work. I looked over at her bed and was surprised to see my dad laying on it in his pjs. I thought "What are you doing here? I thought you were dead." He said "I am." I didn't understand. He said "I'm always here, looking out for your mom."
~ I was at my mom's house on one of my trips back home. She was asleep & I was in the garage smoking. I felt strange....lonely, off-balance, etc. I said, out loud, "Dad, I know you're here, but give me a sign. Something, anything to show me I'm right." A few seconds later the garage door shook like the wind was blowing against it. The thing is, it wasn't windy that night - I went outside afterwards to check. I got freaked out and said "Ok, you can stop now. You're freaking me out." Less than a minute later it stopped.
Granted, most of these "experiences" revolve around my dad. The only reason I can figure for that is he's the only person I've ever been so close to who has died.
In February 2001 I was in New Jersey with my friends, Mel & Jenn. My aunt's team (Notre Dame Women's Basketball, who won their exhibition game tonight, btw) was playing at Rutgers, so we went up & got a cheap motel so we could see the game. The next day we were going to go to NYC. We joked when we saw the room because there was a huge spot on the floor and it looked like dried blood. I felt uneasy in the room because it didn't seem like a good area & I was worried something would happen to us. Anyway, I was trying to fall asleep that night (Mel & Jenn were already out). There was a party in the room upstairs & I could hear the music & the people. That worried me that there was going to be some sort of trouble. I looked at the space between the beds & there was a blonde haired lady there in colonial dress. I don't recall seeing her lips move, but I "heard" her tell me it was going to be ok. The party was going to be over soon and nothing bad was going to happen. I don't believe this was a dream for 2 reasons: 1. I could still hear the music from the room upstairs and I was fully aware of the surroundings in the room I was in. 2. I don't know squat about colonial times so there was no way I would just pick colonial dress for someone to be in. I told Tom a few days later that I'd seen a ghost when I was in NJ. He, of course, thinks I'm crazy, but points to him for not divorcing me then. The more I think about it, I wonder if that was one of my spirit guides. ANYWAY....
The other night when I was falling asleep, I was praying to God to please let me meet one of my spirit guides. I know they are there to help us and I really want to meet mine. That night I had a dream about a man I'd never seen before.
You may think I'm crazy, but again I go back to, why is it ok to believe in God and Angels, but not the rest of it? It's comforting to know that there's more out there than this life and this place. It's comforting to know that our loved ones still watch out for us from the other side. As a catholic, I learned all about the miracles performed by the saints and the miracles performed by Mary & Jesus. Why am I expected to blindly believe that, but not this?
Interesting new information on the Bin Laden tape from
MEMRI - The Middle East Media Research Institute. Here it is:
The tape of Osama bin Laden that was aired on Al-Jazeera [1] on Friday, October 29th included a specific threat to "each U.S. state," designed to influence the outcome of the upcoming election against George W. Bush. The U.S. media in general mistranslated the words "ay wilaya" (which means "each U.S. state") [2] to mean a "country" or "nation" other than the U.S., while in fact the threat was directed specifically at each individual U.S. state. This suggests some knowledge by bin Laden of the U.S. electoral college system. In a section of his speech in which he harshly criticized George W. Bush, bin Laden stated: "Any U.S. state that does not toy with our security automatically guarantees its own security."
The Islamist website Al-Qal'a explained what this sentence meant: "This message was a warning to every U.S. state separately. When he [Osama Bin Laden] said, 'Every state will be determining its own security, and will be responsible for its choice,' it means that any U.S. state that will choose to vote for the white thug Bush as president has chosen to fight us, and we will consider it our enemy, and any state that will vote against Bush has chosen to make peace with us, and we will not characterize it as an enemy. By this characterization, Sheikh Osama wants to drive a wedge in the American body, to weaken it, and he wants to divide the American people itself between enemies of Islam and the Muslims, and those who fight for us, so that he doesn't treat all American people as if they're the same. This letter will have great implications inside the American society, part of which are connected to the American elections, and part of which are connected to what will come after the elections." [3]
Another interesting aspect of the speech is the fact that while bin Laden made his specific threat to each U.S. state, he also offered an election deal to the American voters, attempting to influence the election by these means rather than influencing it through terrorist attacks. [4] This peace offer is a theme that follows up on his April speech directed to Europe, in which he offered a truce. [5] The Islamist website Al-Islah explains: "Some people ask 'what's new in this tape?' [The answer is that] this tape is the second of its kind, after the previous tape of the Sheikh [Osama bin Laden], in which he offered a truce to the Europeans a few months ago, and it is a completion of this move, and it brings together the complementary elements of politics and religion, political savvy and force, the sword and justice. The Sheikh reminds the West in this tape of the great Islamic civilization and pure Islamic religion, and of Islamic justice…" [6]
Another conspicuous aspect of the tape is the absence of common Islamist themes that are relevant to the month of Ramadan, which for fundamentalists like bin Laden is the month of Jihad and martyrdom. Noticeably absent from the Al-Jazeera tape was his usual appearance with a weapon, and more importantly the absence of references to Jihad, martyrdom, the Koran, the Hadith (Islamic tradition), Crusaders, Jews, and the legacy of the Prophet Muhammad on the duty to wage Jihad against the infidels. For the followers of the Al-Qa'ida ideology, this speech sends a regressive and defeatist message of surrender, as seen in the move from solely using Jihad warfare to a mixed strategy of threats combined with truce offers and election deals.
The following are the relevant excerpts from the speech; for the full excerpts visit the MEMRI TV Project at www.memritv.org: [7]
"Oh the American people, I address these words to you regarding the optimal manner of avoiding another Manhattan, and regarding the war, its causes, and its consequences. But before this, I say to you: Security is one of the important pillars of human life, and free men do not take their security lightly, contrary to Bush's claim that we hate freedom. Let him explain why we did not attack Sweden, for example. Clearly, those who hate freedom have no pride, unlike the 19 [suicide hijackers of 9/11], may Allah have mercy on them. We have been fighting you because we are free men who do not remain silent in the face of injustice. We want to restore our [Islamic] nation's freedom. Just as you violate our security, we violate yours.
"But I am amazed at you. Although we have entered the fourth year after the events of 9/11, Bush is still practicing distortion and deception against you and he is still concealing the true cause from you. Consequently, the motives for its reoccurrence still exist…
"We had no difficulty dealing with Bush and his administration, because it resembles the regimes in our [Arab] countries, half of which are ruled by the military, and the other half are ruled by the sons of kings and presidents with whom we have had a lot of experience. Among both types, there are many who are known for their conceit, arrogance, greed, and for taking money dishonestly.
"This resemblance began with the visit of Bush Sr. to the region. While some of our people were dazzled by the U.S. and hoped that these visits would influence our countries, it was he who was influenced by these monarchic and military regimes. He envied them for remaining in their positions for decades, while embezzling the nation's public funds with no supervision whatsoever. He bequeathed tyranny and the suppression of liberties to his son and they called it the Patriot Act, under the pretext of the war on terrorism.
"Bush Sr. liked the idea of appointing [his] sons as state governors. Similarly, he did not neglect to import into Florida the expertise in falsifying [elections] from the leaders of this region in order to benefit from it in difficult moments.
"We agreed with the general commander Muhammad Atta, may Allah have mercy on him, that all operations should be carried out within 20 minutes, before Bush and his administration would become aware. We never imagined that the Commander in Chief of the American armed forces would abandon 50,000 of his citizens in the twin towers to face this great horror alone when they needed him most. It seemed to him that a girl's story about her goat and its butting was more important than dealing with planes and their 'butting' into skyscrapers. This allowed us three times the amount of time needed for the operations, Allah be praised.
"Your security is not in the hands of Kerry or Bush or Al-Qa'ida. Your security is in your own hands, and any U.S. state that does not toy with our security automatically guarantees its own security."
* Yigal Carmon is the President of MEMRI.
